Every month or so, I meet with the pastor of my church. I have a lot of respect for him and I feel he has a good handle of how the Dominican culture works and the best way to reach out to them. At one point, I was expressing to him how much I was enjoying life and I felt like God has been blessing me in so many ways. He was genuinely happy for me, but he also gave me a word of caution that I felt was really wise. Enjoy.
He drew the analogy of a train. In a train, there are various cars. There is a front train called the train engine. There are also other cars behind the engine, but the whole train gets it’s power from the engine. The cars behind it sometimes can be larger and others smaller, but the train still gets its power from the engine. Sometimes the train has to go up hills, sometimes its on flat ground and other times it goes downhill. When it goes downhill, the engine still controls the speed of the train, but if the load is large, it can take over the speed of the train. The train is our lives. The engine is our convictions. Who do I believe Christ was and why did he die on the cross? How does this effect who I am and how I respond to situations. The cars behind the engine are our feelings, our emotions. Some cars are happiness as a result of good situations. Other cars may be worry or hate. Depending on the person, some cars are bigger than others and control the momentum more. Some may even put their car of “feelings” at the front of their train. As a result, in good times, their train goes great and life is wonderful. However, when things start to go bad, their train is thrown off track and they lose all force.
Like I mentioned before, then train travels in different types of land. Right now I am in a downhill part of life. I am definitely loving my life and everything is going well. Even though I see hardship on a daily basis in the lives of my girls, I am full of joy each day. I have been seeing huge progress in my girls. At times, my high emotions start to control the momentum of my life and can effect my decisions. However, I cannot go downhill forever. I will face difficult times and have to start to go uphill. It could dangerous if I let my “feelings” control my view of how my life is going. Let me clarify something, we should always have joy and there is nothing wrong with me enjoying my life. However, the engine, my convictions, my foundation, my relationship with Christ needs to always have control of my life. Why? Because the train will eventually have to go up hill. And then what? Will my emotions control the momentum of the train? They may last for a little while, but they will run out of steam. If my engine is not strong enough, the train will decrease speed. However, if I have a constant force, Jesus, powering my engine, I will have joy even in difficult circumstances. Paul reminds us of this in Philippians 4:12-13. Ironically, he says this while he was in chains as a result of preaching the gospel. Paul says, “I have learned the secret of being content in any and ever situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” What a powerful imagery. I think Paul was well aware that the “secret” was his identity in Christ. His engine was truly powered, conducted by Jesus Christ.
Thanks Popin for reminding me of an important lesson. I have been told before that I am a very passionate person. Awesome. However, I have also often made rash decisions because my train can be conducted by these emotions. I thank God for this joyous/ happy stage of life, but I am also aware that I must continue to grow in my knowledge of who Christ is so that when hard times hit (and they will), I do not lose my joy or momentum.
So my question to you is this. What controls your train? Your emotions? Financial situation? Health? Having a boyfriend/girlfriend? I hope this challenges you in some way, just like it definitely challenged/encouraged me! Take care!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Northwestern Team!
So a dream of mine came true this past week. An actual college volleyball team from Northwestern came and helped run a camp for the girls. Not only did equip ALL my girls with t-shirts and shorts, but they also brought a brand new net. Even more, they came with incredible enthusiasm and passion, that definitely left my girls changed and impacted. Each day the girls shared a bible lesson with the girls as well. This team not only came to serve, but to open their hearts and make a big impact on Jarabacoa.
Also, through the sport of volleyball, they were able to bring the gospel to areas that I have not been able to on my own. Thursday night, the team played against a group of guys from the community that are by far the best in Jarabacoa. We were 1-3 but the one we won was way worth it. :) First of all, playing and getting super pumped with the team was sooo fun. I miss being a part of a team. Secondly, we had a chance to preach to this group of guys which probably would have never would have had the chance to hear the gospel being spoken. I translated for a girl and then had the chance to preach to the guys myself. It was soo neat because I often go to play with these guys but since I'm the outsider (and they are definitely not a talkative bunch unless they are arguing about a call), I have not gotten the chance to really share my faith with them. But this definitely opened up BIG doors to sharing the gospel with them!
Thank you Northwestern for truly making a difference in my own life, as well as so many lives here in Jarabacoa!
Additional side note: So today I was reaching into my box of cereal and just as I was putting into my mouth, a cockroach ran up my hand and onto my face! Ohhhh the fun exciting things here in the DR. Love it. :)
Also, through the sport of volleyball, they were able to bring the gospel to areas that I have not been able to on my own. Thursday night, the team played against a group of guys from the community that are by far the best in Jarabacoa. We were 1-3 but the one we won was way worth it. :) First of all, playing and getting super pumped with the team was sooo fun. I miss being a part of a team. Secondly, we had a chance to preach to this group of guys which probably would have never would have had the chance to hear the gospel being spoken. I translated for a girl and then had the chance to preach to the guys myself. It was soo neat because I often go to play with these guys but since I'm the outsider (and they are definitely not a talkative bunch unless they are arguing about a call), I have not gotten the chance to really share my faith with them. But this definitely opened up BIG doors to sharing the gospel with them!
Thank you Northwestern for truly making a difference in my own life, as well as so many lives here in Jarabacoa!
Additional side note: So today I was reaching into my box of cereal and just as I was putting into my mouth, a cockroach ran up my hand and onto my face! Ohhhh the fun exciting things here in the DR. Love it. :)
Monday, February 15, 2010
Incarnational ministry vs. guarding testimony
Tonight broke my heart. I was walking downtown to meet some friends for dinner. During this week, there is a festival known as Carnaval. From what I have gathered from friends, it’s a pretty satanic holiday. Many people wear masks and costumes. There are also people that walk around with cow bladders and hit people with them. Other friends have told me that it’s a holiday that consists of lots of drinking and lots of sex. Part of me would like to just go downtown and see it, but I have been told Christians should never be seen at parties like that. my witness would be destroyed in a couple minutes if I was seen there. However, sometimes I wonder if Jesus would be in the park among the people? He would not be getting drunk and having sex, but just loving on people. I know as Christians we are supposed to protect our witness. However, at the same time, wasn’t Jesus constantly ridiculed by the “religious leaders” for being among the sinners? I want to live an encarnational life, but where is the line drawn in protecting your witness. I feel like Jesus redefined those lines. What are your thoughts?
Okay, so to get to the part that broke my heart. As we were walking through the outer part of town, I say one of the boys from the baseball site, Pa’sao. A 9 year old boy like him should never be walking through town, especially with such a crazy party going on that night. I yelled to him and realized he was crying. When I asked him why he said that his dad was drunk and told him to go home. I asked him what he wanted me to do and he asked me to take his dad home. Since we knew that his dad for sure was not going to leave the party, we just invited Pa’sao to come eat with us. He continued to cry throughout dinner. This kind of stuff makes me so mad. A 9 year old boy should not have to be responsible for his father. If you are going to go to a party and get drunk, at least don’t take your child! I love Pa’sao and I often see him at the baseball field at nights always by himself. His parents never know where he is. Pray for Pa’sao and many of the other children who are not cared for like they deserve.
A little shout out to my fam. This week was a bit rough for us because our dog Willow died. I love you guys and miss you oh so much.
My mom and dad come to visit in 3 weeks so that is super excited. Also, one of my best friends from BC comes in 2 weeks! The one and only ASHLEY PAGEL! There is something about when people from home come that really gives me new life. I do not know how to explain, but it reminds me where I come from and who I am (if I have forgotten). Haha. This may make no sense to some and perfect sense to others.
Okay, so to get to the part that broke my heart. As we were walking through the outer part of town, I say one of the boys from the baseball site, Pa’sao. A 9 year old boy like him should never be walking through town, especially with such a crazy party going on that night. I yelled to him and realized he was crying. When I asked him why he said that his dad was drunk and told him to go home. I asked him what he wanted me to do and he asked me to take his dad home. Since we knew that his dad for sure was not going to leave the party, we just invited Pa’sao to come eat with us. He continued to cry throughout dinner. This kind of stuff makes me so mad. A 9 year old boy should not have to be responsible for his father. If you are going to go to a party and get drunk, at least don’t take your child! I love Pa’sao and I often see him at the baseball field at nights always by himself. His parents never know where he is. Pray for Pa’sao and many of the other children who are not cared for like they deserve.
A little shout out to my fam. This week was a bit rough for us because our dog Willow died. I love you guys and miss you oh so much.
My mom and dad come to visit in 3 weeks so that is super excited. Also, one of my best friends from BC comes in 2 weeks! The one and only ASHLEY PAGEL! There is something about when people from home come that really gives me new life. I do not know how to explain, but it reminds me where I come from and who I am (if I have forgotten). Haha. This may make no sense to some and perfect sense to others.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Jessica Gives A Beating
As I pulled out of Pinal Quemado, my blood teemed with anger. How could someone in their right mind actually call this 11 year old boy a “pajaro”? (Pajaro translates to bird, but here it also means gay) I decided I could not hold it in and turned my car around to give these guys a piece of my mind.
Let me first give you a bit of background on this story. I work in this community known as Pinal Quemado. I love these kids as if they were my own. I normally just teach the girls, but occasionally if we have extra balls, I allow some of the boys to play. One boy in particular, Kelvin, I have deemed as my assistant. He is eleven and is always really helpful in the practices and jumps in whenever we need an extra person. He is also one of the most faithful attendees to the church. So Viansy and I, and some of the girls from the community and Kelvin were pulling into Pinal Quemado. Some of the older teenagers then yell out as we arrive, “Here comes the pajarito.” I had heard people call Kelvin this in the past, but I did not address the issue. However, Kelvin and I have gotten closer and this particular time, it just got to me. So after the girls got out of the car, I was able to have a good talk with Kelvin. He told me that he really was not gay and that he hated when people said that about him. My heart broke to hear how people had done so much damage to this young boy, just to get a good laugh. I really do believe that is how some people end up gay. Starting from a young age, some boys who have more girlish tendencies or a higher voice are called gay. Little by little, they start to believe it themselves. I am not going to get into a discussion about whether being gay based on life experiences or can happen from birth, I’ll save that for another day. What I do know is that what people say can do serious damage. So, to continue my story, I turned the car around.
I pulled up to the group of guys and in my anger, I was able to explain my frustration of the permanent damage they are doing to these kids. They first started to not look at me and smirk. Then I told them, “you know why none of you cannot look at me right now? Because you know I am right. You are embarrassed and you are too immature to own your actions. Then I started to tear up a bit, but never lost my rage. I told them to please THINK just un chin before they something that could have permanent damage on someone. I got in the car and my heart was on fire as my hands trembled on the steering wheel. I thank God for giving me the words, because normally when I am mad or excited, I talk super fast and even my English gets messed up. So I am thankful for God’s guiding help.
My hope is that little by little, the men in this community will gain a respect for me and the kids to at least not say those things when I am around. Before, when I did not know as much Spanish, I probably did not realize what they were saying to my girls. However, I have really started to understand everything now, GLORIA A DIOS! God is good and he is giving me more and more courage everyday to truly care for my girls as Jesus took care of his children.
Day after note: One of the guys that I talked too went to Kelvin’s school and apologized!!! He said, "I am sorry for what I said and after Jessica gave us a beating, I realized I shouldn't have said that to you, I will never say it again.
Let me first give you a bit of background on this story. I work in this community known as Pinal Quemado. I love these kids as if they were my own. I normally just teach the girls, but occasionally if we have extra balls, I allow some of the boys to play. One boy in particular, Kelvin, I have deemed as my assistant. He is eleven and is always really helpful in the practices and jumps in whenever we need an extra person. He is also one of the most faithful attendees to the church. So Viansy and I, and some of the girls from the community and Kelvin were pulling into Pinal Quemado. Some of the older teenagers then yell out as we arrive, “Here comes the pajarito.” I had heard people call Kelvin this in the past, but I did not address the issue. However, Kelvin and I have gotten closer and this particular time, it just got to me. So after the girls got out of the car, I was able to have a good talk with Kelvin. He told me that he really was not gay and that he hated when people said that about him. My heart broke to hear how people had done so much damage to this young boy, just to get a good laugh. I really do believe that is how some people end up gay. Starting from a young age, some boys who have more girlish tendencies or a higher voice are called gay. Little by little, they start to believe it themselves. I am not going to get into a discussion about whether being gay based on life experiences or can happen from birth, I’ll save that for another day. What I do know is that what people say can do serious damage. So, to continue my story, I turned the car around.
I pulled up to the group of guys and in my anger, I was able to explain my frustration of the permanent damage they are doing to these kids. They first started to not look at me and smirk. Then I told them, “you know why none of you cannot look at me right now? Because you know I am right. You are embarrassed and you are too immature to own your actions. Then I started to tear up a bit, but never lost my rage. I told them to please THINK just un chin before they something that could have permanent damage on someone. I got in the car and my heart was on fire as my hands trembled on the steering wheel. I thank God for giving me the words, because normally when I am mad or excited, I talk super fast and even my English gets messed up. So I am thankful for God’s guiding help.
My hope is that little by little, the men in this community will gain a respect for me and the kids to at least not say those things when I am around. Before, when I did not know as much Spanish, I probably did not realize what they were saying to my girls. However, I have really started to understand everything now, GLORIA A DIOS! God is good and he is giving me more and more courage everyday to truly care for my girls as Jesus took care of his children.
Day after note: One of the guys that I talked too went to Kelvin’s school and apologized!!! He said, "I am sorry for what I said and after Jessica gave us a beating, I realized I shouldn't have said that to you, I will never say it again.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Earthquake Reflections
So the earthquake definitely made an impact on the people here. For those of you who do not know, Haiti and the Dominican Republic have a history of hatred toward one another. Even though there are a large number of Haitians living here, there is still racism toward the Haitians. Haitians are given the worst jobs with the lowest pay. I am still amazed when I am driving back to my house at 11 o'clock and there are still Haitians out hauling cement or doing other hard labor.
I was interested to see how the Dominicans would respond to such an event. Ever since the event, the earthquake had been the talk of the town. People are deeply saddened and are trying to help in any way possible. My church has been sending large amounts of fuel and water. I asked some of the teenagers I work with, "Do you think that the Haitians are treated better and are receiving more respect now that this happened?" They responded, "Yes, but after a while, people will probably go back to how they treated them before." It seriously broke my heart. While most won't ever admit to be racist toward the Haitians, I rarely see my girls hanging out with other Haitian girls.
In other news, I will be moving within this next week. I am super excited and I really like the new girls I am going to live with. For those of you who read the update earlier, the relationship I talked about has gotten so much better. Almost all communication has been cut off and I cannot tell you how much of a release it has been for me. I feel God has taken me back into his arms and has just been pouring his love onto me over the past couple weeks. Another cool thing that happened this week is that I met with the local pastor. I have been in his discipleship class the past 4 months and I really desired to connect with him even more. He was really encouraging and actually asked me to help teach english at the school they run through the church. The school was created for specifically the shoe shine boys of the community. Ever since I first came, I have really liked the idea of the school, but not been able to find a way to get specifically involved. Okay, get to the point Jess. I will be teaching english class for the school 2 days a week, teaching english class for the boys sports site 3 mornings a week. I will still be doing my girls sports site, but all my girls have school in the morning, so this worked out really well to teach in the morning and do my site in the afternoon and tournaments on the weekends. I am excited to use both of my passions (teaching and sports). God has really opened up doors and I feel such a peace and joy doing what I am doing now. Thank you for your support and time (especially if you took the time to read this whole thing). You mean a lot to me.
I was interested to see how the Dominicans would respond to such an event. Ever since the event, the earthquake had been the talk of the town. People are deeply saddened and are trying to help in any way possible. My church has been sending large amounts of fuel and water. I asked some of the teenagers I work with, "Do you think that the Haitians are treated better and are receiving more respect now that this happened?" They responded, "Yes, but after a while, people will probably go back to how they treated them before." It seriously broke my heart. While most won't ever admit to be racist toward the Haitians, I rarely see my girls hanging out with other Haitian girls.
In other news, I will be moving within this next week. I am super excited and I really like the new girls I am going to live with. For those of you who read the update earlier, the relationship I talked about has gotten so much better. Almost all communication has been cut off and I cannot tell you how much of a release it has been for me. I feel God has taken me back into his arms and has just been pouring his love onto me over the past couple weeks. Another cool thing that happened this week is that I met with the local pastor. I have been in his discipleship class the past 4 months and I really desired to connect with him even more. He was really encouraging and actually asked me to help teach english at the school they run through the church. The school was created for specifically the shoe shine boys of the community. Ever since I first came, I have really liked the idea of the school, but not been able to find a way to get specifically involved. Okay, get to the point Jess. I will be teaching english class for the school 2 days a week, teaching english class for the boys sports site 3 mornings a week. I will still be doing my girls sports site, but all my girls have school in the morning, so this worked out really well to teach in the morning and do my site in the afternoon and tournaments on the weekends. I am excited to use both of my passions (teaching and sports). God has really opened up doors and I feel such a peace and joy doing what I am doing now. Thank you for your support and time (especially if you took the time to read this whole thing). You mean a lot to me.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Doing Fine :)
Some people have asked if the earth quake in Haiti affected us here. Good news, we are fine. A lot of people felt it and I guess the building I was in shook a lot. Funny that I was taking a nap when all this happened. So yeah, I did not even wake up.
Life is going good. We have a softball team here so we have been working at the baseball site. Its nice to have a little variety and the girls are super cool too! Take care!
Life is going good. We have a softball team here so we have been working at the baseball site. Its nice to have a little variety and the girls are super cool too! Take care!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Happy New Year!
Hey Friends and Family,
My time at MTI was amazing. I learned so much stuff about myself and things I need to apply to my life now that I am back in the DR. I also realized the importance of being real how much I really need your prayers through everything. Thus, I am going to be vulnerable with you and just get to the point. I need prayer for 3 specific things.
1. Relationships: Some of you may know more than others of specific issues that are going on here. Please pray for my relationships in general. At times, my girls can be a bit dramatic, and frankly, mean. Please pray that God will give me guidance of how to best deal with my girls.
2. Support: I am now about $500 short in monthly supporters. I have an account that I have been pulling from to help with the deficit, but it will run out quickly. Please pray that God will bring along monthly supporters to help.
3. Guidance: As we approach a new year, I get super excited. I feel like my site has grown a lot. I have learned so much Spanish and I finally feel I am able to really get deep with my girls. My desire is to continue working with the same girls and even though many of them have become Christians, its still a challenge to get them really fired up about God's work. Many of them come to our bible study and say all the right things, but there is very little life change. They are sounded by a culture that puts so much pressure for them to get married (move in with their boyfriend signifies getting married here) at a young age and the drink all the time. I would say 90% of my girls life in broken homes with only one parent. I would also say 85% of my girls have had sex and about 30% have been pregnant at some point in their life, but many get abortions. Thus, pray that God will give me guidance of what direction to take with these girls. God has put on my heart to start some sort of purity study with them. But this can be a challenge because most of them are already sexually active, so I have to approach it from a different angle. So yeah, pray for these girls!
Here is a pic of some of my younger girls on the way to church:
Thanks for your prayers and support. For real, I know it is a sacrifice for all of you. I really appreciate it.
My time at MTI was amazing. I learned so much stuff about myself and things I need to apply to my life now that I am back in the DR. I also realized the importance of being real how much I really need your prayers through everything. Thus, I am going to be vulnerable with you and just get to the point. I need prayer for 3 specific things.
1. Relationships: Some of you may know more than others of specific issues that are going on here. Please pray for my relationships in general. At times, my girls can be a bit dramatic, and frankly, mean. Please pray that God will give me guidance of how to best deal with my girls.
2. Support: I am now about $500 short in monthly supporters. I have an account that I have been pulling from to help with the deficit, but it will run out quickly. Please pray that God will bring along monthly supporters to help.
3. Guidance: As we approach a new year, I get super excited. I feel like my site has grown a lot. I have learned so much Spanish and I finally feel I am able to really get deep with my girls. My desire is to continue working with the same girls and even though many of them have become Christians, its still a challenge to get them really fired up about God's work. Many of them come to our bible study and say all the right things, but there is very little life change. They are sounded by a culture that puts so much pressure for them to get married (move in with their boyfriend signifies getting married here) at a young age and the drink all the time. I would say 90% of my girls life in broken homes with only one parent. I would also say 85% of my girls have had sex and about 30% have been pregnant at some point in their life, but many get abortions. Thus, pray that God will give me guidance of what direction to take with these girls. God has put on my heart to start some sort of purity study with them. But this can be a challenge because most of them are already sexually active, so I have to approach it from a different angle. So yeah, pray for these girls!
Here is a pic of some of my younger girls on the way to church:
Thanks for your prayers and support. For real, I know it is a sacrifice for all of you. I really appreciate it.
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